The Hitch @ The Crocodile Cafe

Got oodles of hits after the last two posts (one being the super sabado gigante ole timey MR 10 year anniversary special thing) thanx to all those who hit up the Relics…and thanx to fucking facebook for allowing me to pester my semi captive audience (“friends”), practically beggin’ folks to come to the blog.  Even got a few comments…HA!  Dialog people.  Tell me my writing, my opinions, my choice of music suck, leave some kind of mark, let people know how you feel…or not.

Been talking on the phone with  folks lately, you know, OLD friends (we’re all old now), and gassing on how we’re still connected. One of my native brothers talks about that connection a lot, wish I could regurgitate what he told me, but suffice it to say, I know what I mean. Good stuff. Brian, before I forget, this is the program I was talking about…Audacity

I always thought of Garden Weasel as more of a melodic hardcore band (if that make sense), but I ran across this tune and, we could really get up and boogie when we wanted to…Soap Opera

Don’t know if they’ll read this, but once again I would like to extend my heartfelt thanx to Jeff Langdon, Ed Cole and James Forbes for succumbing to my selfish demands. I sent them each a 15gb flash drive and they filled ’em up with music from Humboldt County spanning 4 decades. Long story short I’ve got a gang of Humboldt shit. In the spirit of sharing, this here live recording, I got from Jeff who was one of the guitar players/vocalists in the almighty Hitch. Out-fucking-standing piece of musical history. He had this to say…

“yeah, that was a live off the board recording at the crocodile cafe in seattle. really fun show with mos generator and a band called the ruby doe”

Die Dirtsurfer
Happy Camper
New Huevos

Grout – Fickle Hill Studio Session 1994

Standing in my usual smoking spot (we don’t smoke in the house) usually looking east out over the valley, but tonight watching the kitties play hunt birds (from the bottom Morris, Sketch, Lil’ Psycho, Lisa, Blanca and Shitty Kitty).  Life is rough, but life is good, who fucking knows what tomorrow will bring, these kitties know what’s up.

Can’t believe this one squeaked through the cracks. All the Humboldt stuff I’ve posted, ran across this cassette, realizing of course that I never ripped/posted it. Easy to fix. The cover is the first Grout demo that was released and I think what I have here is the whole session. Not sure if the fact that my tape is second generation and ancient, but the sound leaves a little to be desired (tried to fix it with Audacity, but I’m still learning all the shit that program is capable of). This was the same year I left Humboldt/the band and these guys went on to stardom…big fish in a little pond I suppose…hahaha. There’s some damn good fucking tunes on his thing and even some dubious ones that I wrote the lyrics to…so…”fuck you and fuck me, hope we drown in fucking pee”

Live and Die
Ron’s Song
Hope I feel
Dr. Marten

You smell like fuck…(10 years years of Mustard Relics)

Went to go pick up one of our exchange students the other day after his football practice. He hoped in the truck and after a few minutes I could smell something like body odor. I wrote it off to a good practice and workout, and then didn’t think anything of it. A while later I was alone in the bedroom and all of a sudden I smelled that exact smell again. This time I realized that that smell was me and that it was old man body odor. Fucking terrible. Just now writing that though it reminded me of the worst of my smells, me detoxing, or better yet, at a detox center with 20 other drunks, methheads and junkies, all in the same room, detoxing.  You smell like fuck…

Ten fucking years of Relics and I still stink, but like a pig, I’ve enjoyed it (worked at a hog farm and that’s a special kind of stink too).  I think my writing has, ever so slightly, improved in that time and more importantly, as a result of the blog, I have been exposed to shit tons of great music (and every once in a while a dud, which I don’t mind, gotta appreciate that people are trying to be creative).  I still stand behind my Top Ten All Time (really 11 and counting now), but musically I feel like I’m more sophisticated now and more of a Renaissance Man when it comes to music (still no Da Vinci of cool music, long ways to go on that one).  I post links to my posts here now on Facebook, in the hopes that I’ll get more hits, and it has done that, but still not much in the way of dialog.  My Aunt Teresa (not a blood relative, better in some ways, but a friend of my Mom’s since before I was born) is good about hitting those links.  She commented on one of my highly sought after (hahaha) Humboldt post, “We definitely like the same kind of music.” It got me thinking that she was the one who turned me onto Black Sabbath, in the form of the Paranoid album sometime in the mid-70s (way before I could fully appreciate them, the music they played and how groundbreaking it was)…thanx again Aunt Teresa! Long about 1993 I had the pleasure of playing with three fine gentlemen in the band Grout and one of the songs we covered was Into the Void.  I wish there was a better recording of our take on the tune (wish I could sing better too and knew the lyrics before trying to sing them), but I remember having a blast doing it. Of course it pales in comparison to Sabbath. Some of the comments on YT for the vid below were spot on, “This must have melted people’s brains in 1970” and “If you ever have to pick the not so obvious greatest Black Sabbath song…, this has just so much of all you’d ever want in a great song.” Sabbath may be the greatest of all my musical influences (maybe)…

Any of you rap-aholic historians remember this tune?  Don’t know why it popped into my head, but there it is…

Of course one of my other greatest influences was SPK (thanx forever to my old buddy Jeong Sang Ho). I have more CDs, records and box sets by SPK than any other band in my ever growing music collection (2nd is Jimi Hendrix…yup), no mp3 collection, all the real deal. I’ve gone on and ion about this band over the years, no need to beleaguer their greatness…

My good pal Dawn and I, circa 1987, Arcata (at the liquor store, duh). She was a great friend, so many good times, haven’t seen her since I lived in San Diego, so 20 years at least.  I hope she is well out there in this god awful world.  So many friends gone to the wind, I value the ones I still have.  Brian and Shawn, are two off the top of my head, true Mustard Relics, loyal to this blog from the beginning.  Lots a hits here from all over the world, mostly mp3 collectors (HA!), and lots of folks that don’t take time to comment.  It’s all good…

My Grandpa Marvin (just had his 89th Birthday on the 20th) is still out there sending me emails (since the advent of fucking Facebook) does anybody still get those forwarded emails…jokes, comics, history, etc.  He eats that shit up, but no body sends me that stuff like that anymore (it’s all fucking people wanting me to give them money for whatever and whatnot), except him, so I don’t have anything to forward to him.  I like it when he sends them, sometimes I’ll send a message saying that I dug what he sent and every once in a while he will send a short reply.  Love that guy, closest thing I had to a Dad, we don’t talk about that at all.  The latest forward…
Now that I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
I didn’t make it to the gym today That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is..”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
I don’t have gray hair; I have “wisdom highlights.” I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Let’s pause for a moment so that we can satisfy that minimal bass guitar-less, lo-fi, satanic craving.Bone Awl – Lifeless and Perfect

On a totally unrelated tip, how about MDC…they are Mustard Relics of their own.  Been buying their records and listening to ’em since the early 80s and was completely sold on them when I watched the 1984 Target Video, Crucifix + MDC Live at the On Broadway in San Francisco, and specifically MDC’s John Wayne Was A Nazi. I always thought the song was about the characters he played in his movies, although I bet there’s a flick or two where he fought nat-zees, but recently found out that he was personally racist and homophobic piece of shit. There were lots of pieces of shit from that place and time, as there are apparently in these days as well. He did an interview with Playboy (aww…playboy, when I was a kid there was this one Goddess…my first boner I believe) back in the early 70s and was very candid about several issues, actually a very interesting read. So yes he really was a Nazi of sorts, a proto 21st century American flag waving, pseudo patriot, kind of Nazi. So MDC were right…hahaha.  My buddy Darryl has this thing about judging the past by today’s standards, so we often debate and discuss these types of things (he’s supposed to write a guest post, along with a few other folks).  The reality is we’re all probably just Nazis deep down inside, waiting for the right circumstance.  Come on now, come out of your shell people.  Anyway,  two of my bands played with MDC in the late 80s early 90s…good stuff and good people. Before meeting Dave, I was very intimidated by his stage presence, your good old fashioned, quintessential hardcore punk, frontman. Way back when I posted this one live bootleg and he is a grandmaster of the banter.  Didn’t groove too much to their later stuff, but…

I have a confession to make…Tone-Lōc – Cheeba Cheeba…because…um…feel me…

Been working on this post for a month or two now, which works well, like a fucked up, random, decoupage.  Then Brian hits me with, “I really hope you have big stuff planned for the 10 year mark….cant wait.  Wonder what its gonna be….” Well holy shit, that’s pressure. And here I thought I had all the time in the world but it’s 1:13 on the 24th, the balls already dropped for the start of the 2nd decade of the Relics. Fuck, and I had so much more to babble on about…share. Coincidentally someone, recently checked out the second post I ever did, the first with music, WD40s Demonumberone (the only one). After the switch to wordpress, all the old post were mostly fucked up (I’ve been slowly re-upping those if I see that people are checking those posts out…to this day I’ve probably gotten two requests for re-ups), so what better time (procrastinating on this post), than to re-up that post. Listened to the cassette while I ripped it, and thought to myself, those were some fun times. Got to play dozens of parties and with DOA and MDC, but the best times were had at the practice pad in the Arcata Bottoms (the complex had a name, like the “swamp” or some shit like that). Hanging out, drinking beers, boasting bowls and jamming tunes…good stuff Maynard…a lifetime ago. So let’s start year 11 with the last tune from the cassette, recorded at one of our rehearsals…
Living without a direction
It’s hard to make a connection
A day to day existence
Doesn’t make a lot of sense
The value of life is great
There’s no time for greed or hate
To make a lasting impact
Not illusion simple fact
Death will come soon enough
Even for the healthy and tough
But sitting in a chair
Gets us fucking nowhere
Ending up as food
For bugs in the ground
Is this all you have
In store for your life
Not in control
Of which way we go
Life has it’s problems
There’s agreement in that
Solutions to them
Not pulled from a hat

Crutch – Sold By Weight CD

Lots of complaints at the moment and very few triumphs, but shit could of course be a lot worse, and has been at several points in my life. No complaining though, it’s all about breathing in and out, and putting one foot in front of the other. Still though, reminds me of Killdozer’s Pig Foot and Beer

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Nobody knows my sorrow
All my dreams down the flush
Glory hallelujah
Walk a mile in my shoes
And you’ll get athletes foot
I ride an old paint
He’s the very color of soot
Hang down your head Tom Dooley
Hang down your head and cry
I dig my grave with a silver spade
Poor boy I’m gonna die
Oh please Saint Peter
You hold the keys
I’d rather die on my wobbly feet
Than live on my scufflin’ knees
Give me a pig foot and a bottle of beer
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long way from home
Now give me a pig foot and a bottle of beer
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long way from here
Give me a pig foot
Give me a bottle of beer
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Who needs a bottle of beer
Give me a pig foot
Give me a beer
I want my mother and I want a beer

Wanna hear an absolutely bitchin’ record from the legendary Bong Load Records, with three incredibly epic ex-patriot Humboldt musicians? Look no further. I’ve posted a Crutch song or two in the past, but if you want to hear a beast of a polished recording, this is it!!!

Bass, Vocals – James Forbes, Jr.
Drums – Darin Talcott
Guitar, Vocals – Marten Bradley
Producer – Rob Schnapf, Tom Rothrock

Low Rent
Flame Retarded
Spine’s Mine
Head In The Park
Limp Twitch
Staple Gun
Pro Lifer Rifle
Ghost Of Bill Graham
Agitated & Overrated
It’s A Long Way To Santa Rosa
Drunken Sailor