Cramps – Dance of the Cannibals of Sex 7″

11-24-10Ha ha, I’m famous, that’s what I always tell my wife anyway. Bonafide.  Big fish in a very small pond, ya know?  Made the local paper or what passes for the paper in these parts, completely made up of the regional goings on, nothing critical, lots of happy faces and good times here in the sticks.  In a way that’s not a bad thing (or not), kind of like the high school newspaper but with adds and announcements for auctions in the surrounding counties.  The local chapter of the Knights of Columbus, a creepy fraternal Catholic thing, that donates money every once in a while to the agency.  A good thing, like the Dukes, “just some good old boys, never meaning no harm…”  I shouldn’t give the KoC a hard time because the money really does help out the people on my case load, but whenever they see me, they’re not sure what to think (is he Mexican, half-negro, injun…his little lady sure feeds him well).

I know that creepy motherfucker is Willem Dafoe, but I can’t for the life of me remember which movie it’s from, any help?

Got cold in Kansas brothers and sisters, but we go through this every year and I never fail to mention it around here.  As a human being, I’m typical, longing for cooler days in the summer and warmer days during the winter.  If you know Kansas though, you’d know that freezing temperatures are no big deal it’s just the fucking wind.  It tears what little warmth you’ve got hidden away in the layers or underneath your big jacket.  On top of that there’s farm living (“is the life for me”-name that show).  Most people only step outside just to go to and from the car, but around here there’s chores to be done.  You gotta get out in it (as I hide in front of my computer in my pleasantly warm house).

Haven’t done an official Cramps post although I hinted at one. Hit you up there with my favorite Cramps tunes, here’s one of those three again, but this time not the album version, instead from the “All Tore Up (Ohio Demos)” 7″ thing (incredible versions).
TV Set
Sunglasses After Dark
This is the whole session here on fucking youtube, but in the comments someone said they were from the boot LP as opposed to the 7″ box set I have…
Ohio Demos

On a Wanda Jackson (VERY important R&R icon) thing I did, I shared a tune, via an old visitor Josh (now MIA), that is definitely worth sharing again.
Funnel Of Love (featuring the Cramps)
I don’t really have any rare Cramps stuff (as I mentioned before, starting to do that a lot, starting to do that a lot), not that that is a pre-requisite for being on this mofo, but it doesn’t hurt. This is a bootleg thing and I’m not sure how many were made but you see them on ebay for cheap all the time. Both these tunes from a live set at Max’s Kansas City are on the “Unleashed and Unreleased” compilation, but as people say (text), WTF (because they are slowly losing the ability to effectively communicate…fuckin’ eh). First thing that comes to my mind comes if you mention the Cramps, is that guy in the “Decline of Western Civilization” who is complaining about how much it costs to go see the Cramps play (remember that?). Both these early live versions (1977) are absolutely incredible. RIP Lux (again).
Hurricane Fighter Plane
I’m Cramped
EDIT: If’n somebody want’s this ripped let me know…

Makes me think of work (back in the day they sent people with developmental disabilities to mental institutions).

Spud Dogma – demo tape

Today makes 3 years I’ve been doing Mustard Relics now, so a big thanx to those of you who have been coming round, have something to say and bothering to read/listen. A tall glass of water to you.
Ah the fifties, when Elvis was busy ripping off Chuck Berry, forever changing white America and eventually the world, rock and roll baby. One of my favorite GIFs that I’ve run across so far. A different time, but still a relevant metaphor for something. Gender roles obviously, but first thing that came to mind, was that I’m glad that I’ve always been a monogamous man.

In the last post, I was talking about the days when I used to have the alcoholic shakes in the mornings so fucking bad that I would have to call in sick (and then run to the liquor store when it opened up so I could get my “medicine”). My old brother Shawn came through with the perfect tune to go with that scenario. Thanx dude!
The Skintones – SLA (Sick Leave Abuser)
On the opposite end we have an out of this world killer tune off 1985’s Cleanse the Bacteria comp., that has been making it’s way on to my music player lately.
7 Seconds – Regress No Way

My thoughts on what was trending on the Yahoo homepage on the 22nd.
Bristol Palin – It pays to be the daughter of an idiot mother.  Just one of millions of unwed mothers, what makes her so special.  If you can’t ask the asshole you’re having sex with to wear a condom then I don’t feel sorry for him or you, just the kid.  Abstinence? Get real! Dancing with the stars, oh joy, and “(Bristol) Palin works on the speakers’ circuit asking between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance. She has signed with Single Source Speakers and is listed on their website as available for conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women’s, youth, abstinence and “pro-life” programs.”
Barbara Bush – No clue why she was trending so I followed the link, kind of entertaining, “Feisty former first lady Barbara Bush said in an interview airing this week that Republican favorite Sarah Palin, who has hinted at having White House ambitions, should instead stay in her remote wilderness state of Alaska.”
Cold medicine – Duh, chug you a bottle or two of Nyquil, because if you’re a pussy and go to the doctor, all they’ll do is prescribe you anti-biotics, which do nothing for viruses.
Colt McCoy – Who? Oh I had to look him up, he’s the rookie quarterback for the Cleveland browns.  He’s only making $5 million for his four year contract, which is surprising in this day and age of overpaid athletes (and really the whole upper echelon of dickheads at the “top”).
Charlie Sheen – This guy is an idiot, your typical sleazy child of someone famous or rich.  The only “Sheen” I like is Emelio Estevez, and that’s just because of his role in Repo Man.
Royal wedding date – What’s the fascination and when are they going to execute the last of these leeches that come from generation after generation of blood suckers who have never had to earn their keep?  The French did it right.
Tablet computer – I’m a sucker, just like everyone else, for the newest new fangled gadgets.  Materialism…
BCS Rankings – Jocks!  I didn’t like them much in high school or college, but, not to leave myself out in the identification of idiots (or hypocrites), I loves me some football.  Actually my son just finished his freshman year of football in high school and kicked ass.  Haven’t asked him if he had the pleasure of walking on anyone with his cleats yet.
Internet security – I need this, if for no other reason than to stop the fucking SPAM around here and to the fuckers hot linking the tunes I have posted.  Criminal.
New Kids on the Block – WTF?  They’re back?  What better indication is there of the decay of human civilization?  …and in music of all places.

spud dogma2Little Jimmy Forbes was up to good deeds again, presenting another one of his many bands from the golden era of Humboldt, Spud Dogma. These guys were a couple of years before my time up there, so as has become customary, I’ll let Mr. Forbes do the talking,
“I will give you the lowdown on Spud Dogma.  John McManus-guitar, Justin Brown-drums, James-vocals & bass, Bo Robbins-faux bass.  We were a band from late 83 until the summer of 85. Bo played bass, but really couldn’t play and kept the volume down…really…I took over bass duties in 84 sometime when we were tired of the schtick.  Our first real show was Feb 84 @ the Sons of Norway Hall in Eureka opening for the Dicks, Pleasure Heads, Psyclones, & the Unherd. The latter 2 local bands of the time.  Our last show was in summer of 85 opening for Circle Jerks & Agent 86 @ Mojos in Arcata.  We played tons of locals shows and parties plus played on khsu.  It was my first band in Humboldt.  John also had a short stint @ the end of Leftovers and we still play together now in The Buffy Swayze.”
spud dogmaFirst impression for me is that I love the guitar sound, kinda of a haunting hardcore in parts. Interesting little intros on some of the tunes. James has a good thing going with his singing/hollering. The recording is 25 years old, there’s a mixture of tape wear and this wasn’t recorded in some state of the art 64 track studio. Favorite tunes are Love Song and Piano Man. All this Humboldt stuff is historical, but there isn’t nostalgia, this was new and is very enjoyable.

world coppulation
spud dogma
love song
piano man
song and dance
buy your girl
german jazz
sinking ships

BG / Iron Lung – split 7″

Liam on the early 50’s Indian and me on the ’69 Triumph back in 1999(?).   Was living with Dirty Steve back then, who was a better friend than I realized at the time (regrets).  Sure fucking loved riding his Triumph and as you can tell Liam was pretty stoked sitting on the Indian.  I wasn’t a 24/7 drunk quite yet but was definitely getting fucked up and passing out every night.  The twilight of  my functional alcoholic-ness.  Got the safety orange City of Lemon Grove sweatshirt on, damn that was a sweet job.  The boss was this idiot ex-junkie 12 stepper (idiot, ex-junkie and 12 stepper are not always connected), who had an arborist license (which is a big deal in the landscaper/groundskeeper world), and in the five years I worked there he managed to prune half of one small tree.  It’s just not a good situation when you have zero respect for your boss, not to mention when I was coming in to work hung over, reeking like liquor every morning (when I wasn’t too shaky to call in sick).  Never laughed so hard as when tank sprayer filled with this weed killer (the name escapes), not available to the happy home owner, and dark blue dye blew up in his face (I was sick, I know).  He was lucky and his eyes and mouth were closed, so he didn’t get sick or blinded, but the dye left his face blue for two weeks.  When he finally got smart and decided to look for ways to fire me, not because I didn’t kick as at work (when I was there), but because I was a drunk, he took me into the shop office with his boss.  Funny thing was that my bosses, bosses, boss hated me too because I had basically told her to get lost because she had this habit of stepping on people on the radio (interrupting conversations between people in the field on their walkie talkies).  So they have me in there, and their reasoning is that I’m using up too much sick leave.  Pissed me off to the point where I was screaming loud enough for the guys in the shop to hear me, “DON’T GIVE ME SICK LEAVE IF I CAN’T FUCKING USE IT, MAY AS WELL GIVE ME MONEY AND TELL ME I CAN’T SPEND IT!”  They didn’t know what to think with my idiot ass screaming at them.  I had gotten a DUI that they didn’t know about, which I figured they would sooner or later, so about a week after that I came to work shit faced and told them to shove the job up their asses.  Alcohol is so empowering in a neanderthal kind of way.  That was the beginning of my 24/7 drunk.

Not sure what Glenn Beck is crying about, but I find something humorous about a man filled with so much cancerous negativity, blubbering.

So if you haven’t been there before, you need to go to Killed By Death Records (he doesn’t need my plug, he gets millions of hits and rightly so).   Peter posts some seriously out of this world obscure punk/hardcore and just a bit ago posted a recent rehearsal of his old band out of Sweden, the Raped Teenagers (a band you can find round here as well).  Listen to that, but funny thing is, on that post, some guy puts a link in his comment to a Youtube video. Turns out the tune is off this killer band out of Belgium from 1974, called Blast. If you’re into the Stooges or MC5, because you know these guys were, or a vibe that foretells punk, you gotta listen to that tune. Fucking rager,
BLAST (Belgian) – ?

A buddy of mine, Bob, who I met virtually a while back, helped me out and cleaned up my header image, not sure if anyone noticed.  He’s working on one of his out of this world creations with it so stay tuned for that.  (Just cracked myself by asking all five of you to “stay tuned”…still laughing)  In the meantime if you dig good digital art or more importantly, if you’re looking to get better with your Photoshop program, go join in at his site Photoshop Bus.

Because I just listened to it on the media player…BAD ASS TUNE!
Doom – No Religion

Only on Mustard Relics would you find this and the previous post categorized in metal, of course separated by two decades (what do I know about categories).  I’ve posted several Iron Lung recordings around here, so you know I already dig them.  If you don’t like manic, stop-go action in your music, then they aren’t for you.  Mike this should be right up your alley with some serious Cookie Monster-ness going on.  🙂  How about Bert when he’s REALLY pissed off at Ernie, ha, ha?  I guess since there is so much Iron Lung around here, this one’s really about BG.  Mellower than Iron Lung but by no means mellow and similar in that you get lots of breaks and melody changes.  I had a very hard time separating the tracks on these and probably shouldn’t have as each side is meant to be played as a whole…oh well.  Unique cover made out of cut up x-rays, so I guess they’re all different.  This is all a lot harder than what I’ve been listening to lately, but just felt like a little balance.


Out of the Cave

The Hill

BG (The Man)


Iron Lung

Disgusting Body

Roentgen’s Machine

Primal Therapy Pt.II


Fist – The Wanderer b/w Too Hot 7″

Ahhhhhh, the days of being shitfaced, slobbering, mumbling, pissing yourself, falling down drunk. It brings back warm memories or do I just remember other people doing that, because every time I was that way, I blacked out. Nothing like having absolutely no fucking self control. I made this GIF, I steal/borrow all the other ones I use, so it was kind of cool to find this site GIFSoup where you can make your own from stuff on Youtube. I might have fun with that, maybe you could too.

I need to do some reading up on global warming, which I know very little bit about, because here we are almost half way through November and it’s 80 degrees outside. As I said I haven’t read up on it but I do know big business has denied everything (just like the tobacco companies and cancer), because God forbid there be a link between polution and the state of the planet. That environmental shit cuts into profits, ya know? So…how’s the weather, where you live?

I’ll be 42 in a couple of months and I have not be kind to my body or mind, so go figure, I’m falling apart. Funny (maybe not so) thing is I went to the doctor for some bullshit and they measured my height for the first time I can remember in probably decades. I’ve always said 5’10”, that’s what my driver’s license says, but the reality is that I’m really 5″ 9 1/2″ and I figured I could just round up. Well at my doctor’s appointment it turns out that I have shrunk and am now a straight up 5’9″. Fucking lost a 1/2″. Maybe I’m like that guy in the movie Shutter, with the ghost of a wronged ex-girlfriend on my back, weighing me down.

A pinhole camera project from Graphic Arts class in Junior High School, with my buddy Julius Szabo (don’t know what happened to him, but you do know I did eventually cut my hair). Got my Vans sneakers, Levis jeans and that was before it was cool to wear Raiders gear.  My two favorite bands back then were Crass and Slayer (with Slayer can you tell?), how’s that for contrast?  You don’t have to make sense when you’re 14.  The next year I did get a chance to see Slayer, along with Venom and Exodus, that was one of my favorite shows.  Stoner?  Well I’ll plead the 5th on that one.  Had a blast in those days, old enough to appreciate some things but zero responsibility.  I’ll have to dig it out and see if I can get it scanned, but in the junior high yearbook, I was voted friendliest, that picture will make you smile.  I loved the 80’s.

Also in 1983, Raw Power released their demo, fucking insane versions of two of their classics
Raw Power – Raw Power / Fuck Authority

I’m pretty sure I got this Fist 7″ (their last) in the used bin the year the above picture was taken, although it was released the year before. Used to take the bus down Victory, from Burbank to North Hollywood. Over on Laurel Canyon there was this awesome record store/head shop called Auditory Odyssey, that had a great new/used selection of records along with the mandatory posters, drug paraphernalia, and other trippy odds and ends. I bought this one because it was on Neat Records, which was the same label as Venom and even though I don’t know much, was one of the main NWOBHM labels. My buddy Erich over at the Good Bad Music is the spiritual adviser on the genre and actually other than Venom, Iron Maiden (some might include Motorhead) and this one I know nothing. When I got this one home in 1983, I played it, thought it really sucked (NOTHING like Venom), and never played it again. A year or so ago when I started to learn about and in some cases appreciate, the genre, I pulled this thing out. Well…the title track, a cover of Dion’s 50’s hit, “the Wanderer”, is easily the worst cover song I have ever heard and in fact, by posting it here, it may be the worst song I have put out there for y’all in the three years I’ve been doing MR. If you don’t believe me, I dare you to give it a listen, and let me know what you think. The totally ridiculous cover suits the song.  Now the second song, “Too Hot”, is somewhat of a different story. I can see why I didn’t like it back then, on the surface it just doesn’t have any balls, at least like Venom (or does it?). It is representative though of the genre which for me is kind of a blend of that heavy late sixties/early seventies hard rock/ heavy metal, 70’s guitar (cock) rock, and sort that punky smart ass English vibe. I can appreciate this now, because you can get a feel for the real basic heaviness, on this tune especially on how the drums and guitar work together. I’m not very good at analyzing this stuff, but these days, for me, it just works and this is just a bad ass rockin’ tune.

The Wanderer

Too Hot