Shawn hit me up with this one after I was complaining about work and life in general. Somebody always has it worse, brothers and sisters, nothing preachy about that. Life is actually pretty good, much fucking better than it has been at other points in my life when my only love was the bottle, everything and everyone else was a distant second. Sucks being that guy. Hell comes to your house. Don’t be that guy.  These days it’s all about TCB (Taking Care of Business)…most of the time anyway, when I’m not just chillin’. There’s always shit to do, and I try to chip away at it, but it’s just a never ending battle, that I’m not going to lose my head over.

Talking about losing your head, made this animated GIF from a very important movie, if you you know it don’t tell, just know that you are in the know of true cult cinema. So losing your head, after all I am just a talking head, in true bi-polar fashion, the last post is just purely me asserting my insanity, nothing’s cool.

So let’s start fresh…with another home made animated GIF (yeah I don’t give a flying fuck if you don’t like em, they calm me)…I call it “hand of god“…I crack myself up, cuz I’m a funny guy. Okay enough of that.  Want to thank my homie, Björn for most generously steering me in a new direction, on a collision course with this band. I asked him what was spinning on his turntable and among other things he said, “most intense and high stage presence postpostpunk.”  Fucking nail on the head man, why haven’t I heard of this band. Discogs just sez, “Savages are a London-based post-punk revival rock band, formed in 2011.” I’ve got some investigating to do…



Made the paper again, big fish in a little pond, page 13, yeah baby!  One of my friends retiring and I was sad to see her go, but more jealous than anything else. I’m tired boss. At my job, once I put on the mask in the morning (I’ve mentioned it before I’m sure), I am forced into 8 hours of mandatory niceness. Not everybody you encounter in those eight hours is playing by the same rules…nice to you = nice to me. I’ve been there, I get it, the whole world is against you, well I am not the whole fucking world, just a tiny little insignificant gear in the grand machine. I was thrust into the machine with very few options but through a lot of trial and error, I’ve made it to where I am today…and part of that now is being nice. Nothing worse than a dick or a cunt, right?

Speaking of which, don’t be a dick or a cunt, comment on the site or I will get Jason to blindside you on the escalator. Hahaha…that’s not nice. That last post/review had almost 300 hits alone and I got one comment about credit for the photos and then one from Andy of the band. Old complaint, so onward and upward.  How about the weather?  Very warm yesterday here in Kansas and today a little bit of snow, freezing cold and of course the fucking North wind blows through you and freezes your innards.  The planet is sick, one minute feverish and the next the chills…

Last night and this morning managed to re-up the 9 year old KING JERK post, I think I may have called it sophisticated metal, very evil jazzy kind of thing. The black hole that is my brain has absolutely no recollection of this band, but it was Brian (bass), Jed (drums), Travis (guitar) and Gabe (guitar+everything else).  Some of it is not very PC by today’s standards (my apologies for that), it is what it is, take it or fucking leave it…mid 90s were 25 years ago, a life time for some folks.  Badass metal that could only have come from Humboldt County…

Fucken eh…new Lee Hardcastle (month old new, cuz you know here at the Relics we are a little behind the times)…

For some reason the Hank Williams Sr. version of this song popped into my head. The first time I heard it though was when I saw Jr. play it in about ’84 with my Mom. On the way out I remember having to navigate the parking lot carefully as there were literally thousands of empty Jack Daniels bottles laying the fuck around…
Hank Williams – Long Gone Lonesome Blues
Hank Williams Jr. – Long Gone Lonesome Blues
Hank Williams III – Long Gone Lonesome Blues

Well I think it’s deep enough in the works that I can officially announce that Mustard Relics Records will be making a third release. This time around it’s one of my favorite composers of modern industrial music, Blitzkrieg Baby. A person who is in the know would remember BB from the legendary (hahaaha) Martyred Heretics CDr that I released miserable success (someday people will wish they had gotten one).  Not fucking around this time though, BB are going to be putting Oslo on the map with their special way of informing you about the brutality of reality…

Lord Ellis – Mouth of the Mad CD/LP

So many bad-ass things about this post and it’s topic, the newest release from the closest thing Humboldt has to royalty, Lord Ellis (photo credits to Mark Mckenna). I could not be happier for these four guys, a couple I’ve known and admired for about 30 years, they came together and created a huge masterpiece of a hard fucking rockin’ record.  Andy, the guy dominating on the keyboards, hit me up to review this thing, without realizing what a gift that was to get a sneak peak.  Now would be a good time to scroll to the bottom and aurally pleasure yourself with this thing (if’n you’re not keen on my thoughts)…

Remember that scene in the 1st Final Destination when that gal gets hit by the bus?  Yep, that’s Mouth of the Mad…they fucking nailed this record! Here’s the spiel on the band in case you’re lost, “Founded in 2011, Lord Ellis brings together 25 years of Humboldt County kick ass rock tradition. Bands like, The Hitch, Dragged by Horses, Wasabi and Grimace were the precursors of this latest incarnation that promises to knock you off your feet, step on your head, then maybe give you a hand up if you’re not a total dick.”  As an outsider, unfortunately just a virtual band to me (God to see the Lord Ellis would be worth the 1500 mile trip), I’ve been there since the beginning, when they were called El Yeti (wish I still had those early rips). And then we were blown the fuck away by the Self Titled album…if Humboldt had tar pits, you know this…man!

So how do you make a bitchen record, to start with, by getting a bitchen artist to do a bitchen cover. I bet some people out there will be interested in the music based on the cover alone (artist is Matt Loomis from Chico). These sketches are outrageous but the finished product is over the top.For us old timers who remember going to an incense filled record store/head shop, trippin in our youth amazed at some of the cover art and wondering if the unknown band was as good as that cover. In this case it fucking is. As I said…nailed it!  This could be seminal rock and roll. I know this might be a bold claim but what MC5 and The Stooges where in 1970 Detroit, Lord Ellis is in Humboldt County 2018. This is a departure from the S/T album which was more of a subgenre of RnR, you know, a stoner/sludge kind of thing (abso-fucking-lutely nothing wrong with that, it is what it is, and I love it). On MOTH we have genuine RnR that respects it’s roots but is firmly planted in 2018. I’m in the middle of NoWhere Kansas so what the fuck do I know, but these are some hard rockin’ times that need hard rockin’ music. Andy told me, “I’d say the music on this disc is a little different that even we expected. We just kinda do what we want at this point.” I totally feel that, I maybe totally off base, but this is an evolved Lord Ellis. I usually try to single out a “hit” for the sake of reference, but the whole thing is a “hit”…not one dud man. Not fucking one! Here’s a couple quick reviews I found with some faves…

Bucky: This is not your average stoner/doom/heavy rock band. Lord Ellis bring us danky punk-infused cuts, rich on bass, playful on vocals, and thick on groove. Its a bit rough around the edges sounding like a punk band aged in a barrel of Humboldt County ganja. The keys add a nice subtle touch too. Highly enjoyable and priced to sell. Don’t neglect their self titled album either. Woah. Favorite track: Long Hand.
FDJ: Superb dank mix of proto and stoner/hard rock grooves coated in cool strong clean vocals. Favorite track: Love My Enemies.

So there’s some hits for ya, Long Hand or Love My Enemies. Okay…alright…if I had to pick one, it would be Hollywood…
I met a hooker down on second street
She had a thousand tongues chained to her feet
I said no babe your pussy grosses me out
Now give me something I can write about
Let it shine… let it shimmer
Let it roll like Chopin for the sinner
Shine, Shine… etc.
Let it howl at the moon
I was born in Hollywood ya believe it
Walking on stars man the heroin needles they break
Ya I met my wife in Hollywood ya believe it
And I got the time if you got the time by the lakeside baby won’t you leave it alone.. wahhhhhahhhh
Hey… you lookin fine in that silver
That listerine and leather’s making you slimmer
I’m gaggin when you’re making all of that money honey
I paint famine on the hoods of Ferraris
Let it shine… let it shimmer
Let it roll like Chopin for the sinner
Shine, Shine… etc.
Let it howl at the moon
I was born in Hollywood ya believe it (can you feel it get down on your knees)
Walking on stars man the heroin needles they break (I can feel ‘em crunching under my shoes)
Ya I met my wife in Hollywood ya believe it (ya I saw her from across the bar)
And I got the time if you got the time by the lakeside baby won’t you leave it alone.. wahhhhhahhhh

…Andy’s solo [1977 Rhodes Suitcase Piano (original Haigler System amp) with a BK Butler Tube driver…in case you were wondering] is off the hook and highlights, specifically, how important the keys are in what Lord Ellis is about. Lord Ellis are all OG Humboldt, veteranos in the scene, seasoned. You got four guys who definitely know what they’re doing, so no clowns here, audio terrorism at it’s finest…BOOM! Class acts, these guys…Pablo explodes with vocals (a lot of power in his words without the grunting you get a lot of now days) and guitar…Roshawn crushes and destroys effortlessly on the bass…Steve takes you for a brisk run around the track (several dozen times)…
Andy is a solid reminder of the roots of rock n roll, tearing the shit of the keys. If this gets a little ways out of the triangle, out of the fog, I could see people would be talking about them. Is this where Humboldt is at in this day and age? Man I need to visit…hhahaah (it’s my understanding that the Humboldt of my youth is long gone, like the rest of this country it’s a much meaner, harder place). I guess the internet is prime for spreading the word, but it used to be all about touring, so I asked Andy, “We always talk about a tour… we all love to do it. But as you say, we’re all very busy, but with enough planning we can and have done it to a limited degree. With that said, I’m pushing for a summer/fall tour of the west coast at the very least.” Their next booked gig is May 26 at the Siren’s Song in Eureka, but according to my sources, they will hopefully have a release party of some sort. If I was to make it back to Humboldt someday, I’d pay them to do a private show…what do you say boys, reunion at the chicken coops in Manila?
There’s only 500 CDs and 500 records, so get your ass moving before they’re all gone…or 3 measly bucks for the digital download. In the meantime, they are well represented if you want to do some listening/purchasing/viewing (but don’t gawk)…
CD Baby